I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The ass gains better be worth it
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