So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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