I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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