I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
