Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
