"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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