I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize