the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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