I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
