GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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