No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
