What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize