sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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