This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
