her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
