it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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