Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
