Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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