he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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