it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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