So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
