i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
