dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
