you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
