I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
