I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
