so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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