So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
it's like iHOP with fire
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
