No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just blew my weed a kiss
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
