So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
