he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
