Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
