their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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