last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Randomize
