Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
