haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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