and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
