yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
