I'm jealous of your bromance
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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