Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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