not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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