Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
