Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
