She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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