We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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