Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
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