good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
