Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
