I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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