Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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