Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
