How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I have aggressive nipples.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
