dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
