there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
