i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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