You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
