Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize