The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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