It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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